Feel the Love

OK, so today was supposed to be a day of love--say it with me--looooove. I got to sleep in a little bit (alright, I admit, it was a lotta bit) the weather was gorgeous, and I started off the day meditating and professing my undying adoration for Kid Rock in front of the small, tasteful shrine I've erected for him in my boudoir. I was then headed to a wedding shower, which I usually boycott because I hate them, but it was for a chick at work whom I dig, so I agreed to attend even though it was all the way over on the East side and I ultimately got lost, which happens a lot when I go over there, but in the end, it was all good--all love, and rainbows and balloons. Then I got home, and read this crappy, crappy story about how Detroit is America's Most Dangerous City.

Now, all of us who live in the D admit that we've got our issues here, but it was my impression that violent crime in the city proper was actually down, which in truth, it is, but I'll get back to that little nugget later. Let's first talk about the report by Mr. Zack O'Malley Greenburg. Now I usually don't let things like this pile of poop story get to me, but this one really pissed me off. First of all, the story is about violent crime, and what does Mr. O-G start off with? Kwame Kilpatrick. Nice. Kwame was a stupid and narcissistic liar (from day one of his administration quite frankly) who ultimately cost the city millions and oh, by the way, ruined the lives of a few people, on the way to sullying the reputation of the city he was elected to serve, but I'm pretty sure that nothing he was convicted of appears on the FBI's Uniform Crime Report. So the entire lead-in? Nothing but a cheap shot.

Let's move on shall we? The story also relies on statements like this from some risk-assessment wonk-chick, "Detroit has, historically, been one of the more violent cities in the U.S. They have a number of local crime syndicates there--a number of small gangs who tend to compete over territory." Wow, that is some compelling data. Now I would assume that is the case in most cities across the country, but hey, why take that into consideration when you're trying to slam the D?? Then Mr. O-G talks about Mexican drug cartels having a number of transit points here in the area, which I cannot dispute because I personally haven't trafficked horse for them for a number of years, so whether my former pick-up points are still in operation, I cannot say for sure. I also loves when Mr. O-G throws in the reference to Stockton, CA but does so in a way that makes it look like he's still talking about the D--inflammatory and technically inaccurate, but again, it makes this story sing, so it's OK, right?

Now before I place someone on my shit-list, I try to do my research because once you are on said list, it is very difficult to remove yourself, and I don't want to deprive anyone from my gloriousness unnecessarily. So I did my due diligence and Googled Mr. Zack O'Malley Greenburg, and found that he has done a lot of work for Forbes.com for the past year or so (he just graduated from Yale in 2007 so he's still a newbie). Stories like, "Most Valuable U.S. Coins," and "Most Expensive Baseball Cards," and "America's Most Expensive License Plates." So clearly, he is the source you go to if you want compelling journalism organized into list format. Interestingly, he gave the nod to Comerica Park at #15 on his list of "America's Best Baseball Stadiums," so apparently he thinks it's safe to go see the Tigers in the D, just don't walk around too much afterwards. My favorite find, though is his piece on America's Emptiest Cities because it contains this statement, "An industrial boomtown during the first half of the 20th century, Detroit's population swelled from 285,000 in 1900 to 990,000 in 1920, reaching a peak of 1.8 million in 1950. But starting in the 1960s, Detroit began a precipitous decline. Detroit's population is now 900,000--half what it was in the middle of the century--and many of its neighborhoods languish in varying states of decay. Most scholars blame rapid suburbanization, outsourcing of manufacturing jobs, and federal programs they say exacerbated the situation by creating a culture of joblessness and dependency." Oh, my--sound familiar? It must be so great to be able to gear your work towards flat-out cutting and pasting from one piece to the next.

So, just to set the record straight, here is the FBI's Uniform Crime Report, which, contrary to what Mr. O-G stated in his story was actually released in January 2009, but let's not delve too deeply into accurate factoids. Now, I don't know how the fuzzy crime rate referenced by Mr. O-G was derived, but looking strictly at the numbers, crime in Detroit has, in fact gone down in every category, save one, Burglary, which given the economic state around these parts, I'm actually surprised isn't higher. Also interesting is the FBI's disclaimer on the very front of this report, which specifically states that the compiled data is voluntarily disclosed by the cities, and therefore should not be used to compare cities. I just gotta quote it, "Comparisons lead to simplistic and/or incomplete analyses that often create misleading perceptions adversely affecting communities and their residents." Hmmm...

I'm left wondering why I'm so bothered by Mr. Zack O'Malley Greenburg's story. It's not because he is a dude with 3 names or that he was also the child star of Lorenzo's Oil, which was a flick I did not enjoy. It's not because the D is a pristine, crime-free paradise full of unicorns and golden fairy-dust--hella no. But then again, no place is. I grew up in Jersey and I live in Detroit, so I am well-versed in deflecting jibes and taunts thrown around by those not in the know about the places I live. Stories like these just perpetuate stereotypes, and they don't reflect the growth and progress that we're making. Slowly but surely, it's happening, and the real, true numbers prove it, should anyone deign to actually look at those.

OK, Mama Bear is stepping down from her soap box now--that was a whole lotta social activism for one afternoon. I'm going to shake off this angry mojo and go sit on my patio, for the weather is still lovely. I will drink a beer while my big fat steak cooks on my grill, and watch the Banana as he tries to wrestle that overgrown tree branch onto the ground. Yeah, it's Saturday in the D, all is now right with my world, and I am once again feeling the love.