Week in Review

OK, so I know I've said this a whole lotta times before, but this has been an inordinately long week. I do not really believe that there was some cosmic shift whereby additional hours were tacked onto the pre-ordained 7 days, but it still felt wicked loooong. More than likely this can be attributed to the fact that I was actually in the office for 5 consecutive days. No vacation, no work at home due to chica-illness, no off-site meetings--nothing. Just grind it out, 40-plus hours, 5 whole days, ass-in-chair yuck. Since today was Good Friday and twasn't nothin' goin' on, it gave me an opportunity to compile a listing of 5 noteworthy things that have happened during the past week. I know how much you love to live vicariously through my me and opinions, so consider it my Easter gift to y'all. Here goes.

1. I am joining the World Poker Tour. I have decided to make this career change after it was pointed out to me that I have the best Poker Face on the planet (I know, I know, it's one of the best faces overall, but enough already). Confronted with freaky/shocking news, my face reveals nothing. Case in point, one of my employees came to me this week to tell me that she just found out she was pregnant, and she's due in June. Yes, this June, a mere 6 weeks from now and possible delivery in a 7-11 bathroom June. Then yesterday we had two gentlemen visiting from another office, and Crazy Little Mrs. Doubtfire cornered one of them, and said breathily, "Ooooh, you're sooo handsome," and felt the poor dude up. Swear-to-God, inappropriate, sexual harassment, touching of his physical person. In both cases, my countenance remained stoic--I calmly provided FMLA information, and physically detached the groper from her gropee. I was able to make it safely into a closed, locked room before dissolving into a fit of tearful giggles. Oh, let's be honest, I snorted, but they never suspected a thing.

2. No L. Brooks? No lie, I would love to meet the 41 year old living in the cellar of his parents house playing Halo all day long goofball who was surprised to hear that L. Brooks Patterson will not be running for governor next year. Really? Such a shock. Now I suppose that we're supposed to actually believe that he made this decision of his own free will, and that the Michigan Republican Party had nothing at all to do with it. As if they had not noticed the population's newly-established, well-documented aversion to electing old fat white guys, and then quietly asked him to step down. In the immortal words of the K-I-D, I was born at night, but not last night, baby.

3. Cobo No-No. I seriously cannot believe that the Detroit City Council has not been vaporized by somebody with a really great ray-gun/light saber weapon thing over this Cobo mess. Now they're spending more time and money to undo the mayor's veto of their unconscionable and borderline insane decision to block the transfer of operations to the regional authority. Genius. Can't wait for next January to see how many automakers don't show up at the NAIAS.

4. Central Depot Yes-Yes. I do not know why, but I feel very strongly that the Central Depot should be saved. Maybe not all of it, but still. That building is a symbol of what the D used to be, what it could have been, and sadly, what it is now. Bottom line, it is an architectural marvel, and the City Council (again with that brain trust) throwing a political-Veruca-Salt temper tantrum to get it demolished NOW accomplishes nothing. Maybe I'll buy it. I think I may be a coupla bucks short, but I got a whole lotta returnables in my garage, so we'll just see.

5. I love Opening Day. Doesn't matter where I live, I just love to hear the words, "It's Opening Day for (fill in the team of your choice)." Opening Day is the toll-booth on the Parkway to summer. The first step towards warm sunshine and bizarro tan lines from sitting in the bleachers all day. I spent many an Opening Day in Milwaukee in some random field behind the old County Stadium, grilling brats on a sketchy hibachi, swilling tons of The Beast, and going into the game only after the original ticket-holders came back to the car to pee and get more free beer. Good times, good times. Classy, too. But that's just me.

So yeah, that's the week that was. I was going to take the time to match each event to my corresponding days-of-the-week underpants, but hey, I'm no loser. It's Friday night, and I got 5 days of Tivo to watch.