K-I-D in the D

OK, so a quiet Sunday morning has dawned here in the D, though Kelly-Girl did not personally witness said "dawn," but rather snored right through it on her way to a more humanly acceptable 9 am wake-up. I actually don't think I've seen the sun rise in...gee...ever. Oh, wait, there was that time...no...hmm. Well I can neither confirm nor deny that I did it, yet I do not think this sunrise-witnessing-crap is something that needs to be added to my bucket list. No way.

More importantly to you, my Lovelies, I'm ready to talk. Spill it, confess all, give you all the inside information. "Whatchu talkin' bout, Willis?" you ask with the giddy anticipation of a squealing throng of 15 year-olds at a Jonas Brothers meet and greet at a Metro Detroit IHOP because they don't have any diners in this godforsaken town and all I really want today is a proper pork-roll egg and cheese sandwich followed by a big fat nap and is that really too much to ask?? Whoa, sorry...got a little carried away there. Anyway, yes, I am finally ready to talk of the defining moment of my summer, nay, of my calendar-year thus far. Yes, your patience will finally be rewarded today as I tell you about...The Kid Rock Show.

Oh, yeah, Baby!

So, needless to say, I ultimately did not get my frequently-requested free ticketage or backstage passitude. But that is OK, because I know that the K-I-D is a busy, busy dude, and he can't always come to the door when I bang on it at 3 am, nor can he just give out tickets and passes to any hot single mom who asks for them. Well, there's really not that many of us, so technically he probably could do that and still turn a tidy profit, but really it's OK, I get it. And thanks to my brothers at StubHub, direct personal intervention from my Bobby was unnecessary. All I really cared about was going to the show, and oh, what a show it was.

Now I'm going to be brutally honest here, borderline blasphemous even. From a strictly musical standpoint, this particular K-I-D show was not the best one I've ever seen. I still think that his Pre-Super Bowl extravaganza at Joe Louis in 2006 was my all-time favorite. This show was really great, but the best? Sorry, no. Because they had the concert in a baseball stadium, during baseball season, it meant that they could not use a whole lotta real estate inside the park. The entire infield was all cordoned off as off-limits, and that meant that the stage was set up waaaaaay back in center field. So far in the outfield in fact, that I believe most of the amps were actually plugged into sockets located in Canada. Thank you, Windsor Power and Light! Here's what I could see...

If you look veeeeerry carefully at the left-hand-side of the Rectangle of Light in the center, there is a tiiiiiny dude that I believe to be the K-I-D. Of course,it could also be a roadie or something, definitely not a stripper. But hey, that's what the Jumbo-tron is for, and I was able to take comfort in the fact that I really don't think anyone had good seats, thus I was not alone in having to watch the entire show on the big screen.

So he played all my favorite songs, and a couple I do not enjoy, but that's to be expected when "someone" refuses to review the set list with me beforehand. Whatever. But hands down, the best part of the entire K-I-D experience on July 18, 2009 was the people-watching. Bar none, the single greatest thing I've ever laid eyes on. My GF Mar and I arrived downtown at about 5:30 pm. But the Kid Rock All-Star Block Party started at 2 pm, and I would venture to guess that a vast number of the folks gathered in the streets around Comerica Park had been there way longer than that even. There were drunk people EVERYWHERE--and not the good, fun, rockin' out kind of drunk like I was. I mean blind stumbling, drooling, nearly comatose, yet somehow still walking around drunk. Oh, yeah. Seriously, it was so awesome.

Even better was the fashion. Now the K-I-D has a pretty wide fan base, and by wide, I mean young, old, rich, poor, city, trailery, but mostly, I really mean... fat. After what I witnessed on that night, there is no longer any doubt in my mind that the D is the fattest city in America. Yet bless their hearts, they jammed their ample selves into little tiny t-shirts and tank tops and short shorts and wow. Wowie wow wow. And you know, it's a concert, so they all mostly wore black, which I found so remarkable, because black is usually such a slimming color. Oh, and then there were some really perplexed and out-of-place-looking Euros who were dressed all in white linen. And loafers. Just begging to be barfed on by some Woo-Hoo-shouting drunk chick sporting a three-sizes-too-small halter top with an over-matched shelf-bra and 6, count them 6, Red Stag shot glass necklaces. Like I said, so very very awesome.

So yeah, I danced and sang and jumped around with my GF, and had a grand old time. I never once placed my sweet ass into the chair that cost me 75 of my own dollars. I also finally put to rest any notion of me touring with the K-I-D as one of his cage/pole dancers, because while I am still a physically remarkable specimen, I can no longer deny the fact that I am old. The next day my voice was hoarse, my knees ached and my feet hurt, and I felt all of my 29 years. Hey, it's my blog, I can lie if I want to. But really, it was a great night, a great show, and he is still on my short-list of favorite cats of all time. If you get the chance to see him live and in person yourself, go. Don't think about it, just do it. You will not be disappointed. Even if you do have to pay for your own tickets.