OMG H1N1 BS 4SURE

OK, so today was Monday, which is not a day of the week that inspires great loyalty or firmness of conviction, to which legions of folks around the world rally together to shout to the heavens "WE LOVE MONDAY!" No, those battle cries are saved for the sexy Fridays of the work-week, and to a lesser extent Thursdays whenever there are discounted well-drinks and dollar-bottles until 10pm. But you know what, if Monday wants to get out of the doghouse and get more respect, then it really needs to stop sucking so badly.

Case in point, this particular Monday came bearing the gift of "child-care scramble." All parents are familiar with this ritual, when you are forced at the last minute by illness or inclement weather to secure and otherwise slap together alternate child-care arrangements. Each time this happens with the Chicas, I am struck in equal parts with panic, frustration, and nausea at the fact that I do not really have a solid contingency plan--my parents don't live in the area, I don't have a uber-cool elderly aunt who could help me out for a few hours after her Chair-yoga class, and the only old-neighbor-lady around my house is married to The Hobbitt, and I really just can't take that chance no matter how desperate I get.

Oh, and did I mention why school was closed today? Yes, my Lovelies, it is because of Swine Flu, which I can no longer call Swine Flu, but rather must refer to as that other name with the letters and numbers, but not ever again Swine Flu. I swear to Ever-Living-God-Above, this thing is becoming my nemesis, my Newman if you will (yay--finally a Seinfeld reference!) because not only did PCCS close all schools for the next two days, but when I got to work, what did I get to do? C'mon, you can guess better than that...OK, I will tell you...I got to hand out the Emergency Preparedness Kits shipped to us from our granola-buddies at Corporate! Yes, each employee was bequeathed with the aforementioned 5-day supply of hand sanitizer, surgical masks, and latex gloves. Seriously.

I really think that someone could make a huge amount of money and provide a valuable public service by creating a company for contingent childcare. (Not me of course--I'm far too lazy and short-sighted, but if anyone needs eye-candy for an infomercial, feel free to give me a call). Not for when your kids are projectile vomiting, or legitimately sick with something that could be the dreaded Swine Flu, not that I can call it that, but just a back-up for snow-days or when they're just kind of sick, or when the schools cave into public hysteria like they did today. Something like a network of moms or old-neighbor-ladies (who aren't married to Hobbitts of course) who would be willing to make a little extra coin and help a sister out. I'm sure they're out there, I just don't know who they are. And yes, I know I could ask my friends, but they have their own lives and families, and I have a whole lot of chillens which ultimately makes for a brutally long day. I just feel like it's a lot to ask for when I already rely on them so much, and I have limited ability to reciprocate.

In the end it worked out OK, for the weekday-collect-the-big-Chicas-from-school-babysitter-girl was also not in school today, and was able to come help me out. As for tomorrow, I was a very big girl and actually asked the FM for assistance, and seeing that he's home this week due to "employment issues" of his own, it's really a win-win for both of us. So yeah, my very loosely woven net of childcare was patched together to survive yet another week. Of course, if this Not-Swine-Flu thing doesn't clear up any time soon, they may be out for the summer sooner rather than later. Which means that I would need full-time, preferably low-cost, in-my-home care for 3 Chicas at the drop of a hat... Newman!!